Changes...

While I was working on helping my daughter get more out of her life - still a work in progress but coming along - we were having some other behaviour problems.  This year she suddenly seemed to be going through a kind of adolescence (a bit late at 25 but there you go!) with a lot of independent behaviour and a great deal of stroppiness over little things.  One of the main bones of contention was having her hair brushed.  I'm very willing for her to do her own hair, but the bottom line is that most of the time she just wafts the brush at the front part and leaves the back straggly.  It's bad enough that she chooses to wear her oldest clothes which are battered and generally coverd in paint splashes (but they are her favourites so I try to keep my mouth shut as it is her choice), but I draw the line at letting her out of the house looking like she just got out of bed.

So I used to brush her hair before she goes out and get hands waved, head covered, flinching and more recently, I got hit.  I was trying to be as gentle as I could but nothing seemed to work.  It came to a head when I lost my temper at being thumped every day for a week, yelled at her and threw the brush across the room.  Not behaviour I am proud of.  I was appalled at what we had been reduced to and had to take a step back and think about what I could do to redress the situation.

So, after a chat with my daughter about how she should never hit anyone, which I think sunk in, I went on the hunt for a magic brush.  I eventually found something labelled as being able to get through tangles without pulling but it cost £11 - that's a lot of money for a plastic brush that might not even work.  I stood in the shop deliberating for a good five minutes then finally decided that if it did work, it would be the best £11 I spent that month.

It really is a magic brush - I am now able to brush her hair without fear of being hurt myself.  She is still not happy about it, but her hair is not getting pulled inadvertently, neither are the bristles scraping her scalp - I don't know if either of these were the problem, but whatever it was, we seem to have got rid of it.  You have not idea how relieved I am that this has been solved - it was making both of us so unhappy.  Little things seem to cause the biggest reactions, and many times it is impossible to see the wood for the trees when you are in the middle of it.

Now, about those tatty clothes....