We all have that sinking feeling when our child says that to us, but generally they are able to tell us just exactly how they are feeling and where it hurts. Not so easy to obtain the information if your child has difficulty with communication and even harder if it is not your child but one you are working with, so you do not have a parent's inside knowledge. Also, I have found that children with Down's Syndrome - and many others too - learn such stock phrases as 'I have a headache' or 'I feel sick' and use them to describe any ailment or injury.
A few years ago I was working with a little girl who was pretty good at getting her meaning across, her speech was clear and made sense. However, when it came to feeling ill at school, she was unable to express how she was feeling and even closed questions didn't really clear things up. In the end, I drew a simple outline of a human figure (rather like a gingerbread man) on a sheet of A4 card, with a sick looking face - two sad eyes and a wobbly mouth - and wrote a heading 'I feel poorly here...' I then laminated the card and kept it with my resources so that whenever she was feeling a bit off colour, she understood to point to the relevant area on the drawing. It was a very helpful little tool.
Something to keep in mind is children's knack for faking it. My daughter learned very early on in her school career that by telling people she felt sick, they panicked ('oh no, the special needs child isn't well, we don't know what to do!') and immediately telephoned me, whereupon she was taken home. Nine times out of ten, by the time we got home there was a miracle cure and she could look forward to an afternoon in front of the tv and no school. It got to the point where I told the school that unless she had actually thrown up on the floor, I was not to be contacted - sounds harsh, but she gave us all the run around for a long time! In secondary school I was contacted urgently and arrived in a rush to find her lying on a bed in the nurse's room, wrapped up in a blanket and looking as if she was at death's door. Even I fell for this one, and took her straight home - but we hadn't even reached the school gate when she brightened up, skipping along and discussing which dvd she was going to watch when she got home......and you can't march your child back into school saying 'she's faking it, have her back'!!
You may think this was just my child, but over the years I have seen the same trick pulled by all the children I have worked with and their mothers in the same position as I was - exasperated! If I rang them, after describing the symptoms, I tended to ask them whether or not they thought it was worth them coming to pick up their child - after all, who knows their child better than their mother!
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Friday, 15 October 2010
Small Victories Mean The Most!
We are now 6 weeks into the school year and today for the first time, the little boy I am working with waved me goodbye and said, clear as anything, 'Bye-bye'.
There were three of us, the teacher, classroom assistant and me dancing up and down cheering. And one little boy who is in no doubt at all that today he did good! I love my job!
There were three of us, the teacher, classroom assistant and me dancing up and down cheering. And one little boy who is in no doubt at all that today he did good! I love my job!
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Obtaining & Maintaining Eye Contact
This may seem an obvious thing to say, but unless you can obtain good eye contact with your child, you will not accomplish much in the way of teaching. If I had £1 for every time I have said 'look at me' in my job, I'd be a very wealthy woman!
It is sometimes not easy to get the child to look at you however, and short of physically taking their head in your hands and pointing their face at yours - not really a satisfactory way of doing things for either of you, and no guarantee you can get the child's eyes to look your way - you can be left floundering as to how to get a result. I have found over the years that the trick is to make yourself as interesting as possible - if that means making funny faces, silly noises and generally making a fool of yourself (see previous post!), then that is what you have to do. I'm actually quite a quiet person, but at work you wouldn't know it as I sit there making puppets talk in funny voices, making loud sound effects to emphasise signing, and generally being noisy and conspicuous. It does work though, and the more the child you are working with looks at you, the more they will absorb in the way of language, signs, behaviour.
This is particularly relevant when working with younger children - they respond so much better to an attitude that is positive and outgoing. By the same token, your praise and disapproval should be large and exaggerated - if the child does something that you have been trying to get them to do, make your praise as huge as a human ticker-tape parade. Clap and cheer and wear a big smile. If they misbehave, frown your hardest and pretend you are distraught. Until they understand about nuances in vocal tone, this is the best way to get your meaning across.
It is sometimes not easy to get the child to look at you however, and short of physically taking their head in your hands and pointing their face at yours - not really a satisfactory way of doing things for either of you, and no guarantee you can get the child's eyes to look your way - you can be left floundering as to how to get a result. I have found over the years that the trick is to make yourself as interesting as possible - if that means making funny faces, silly noises and generally making a fool of yourself (see previous post!), then that is what you have to do. I'm actually quite a quiet person, but at work you wouldn't know it as I sit there making puppets talk in funny voices, making loud sound effects to emphasise signing, and generally being noisy and conspicuous. It does work though, and the more the child you are working with looks at you, the more they will absorb in the way of language, signs, behaviour.
This is particularly relevant when working with younger children - they respond so much better to an attitude that is positive and outgoing. By the same token, your praise and disapproval should be large and exaggerated - if the child does something that you have been trying to get them to do, make your praise as huge as a human ticker-tape parade. Clap and cheer and wear a big smile. If they misbehave, frown your hardest and pretend you are distraught. Until they understand about nuances in vocal tone, this is the best way to get your meaning across.
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Don't Be Afraid To Make A Fool Of Yourself!
One thing I have learned along the way both as a parent and as an LSA to children with Downs, you must always be prepared to make yourself look a right prat for the good of the cause. Take today...I'm working with a new little boy and it is taking time to get him into the groove as it were. Year 1 is difficult enough as it is, but for some children it is an almost insurmountable mountain and they need a lot of effort from those around them to help them reach their daily goals.
Today that effort involved marching around outside singing 'Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes' at the top of my voice whilst smacking the relevant body parts with a tambourine like some crazed Salvation Army reject. But it worked - little boy was engaged, joined in, learned the names of body parts, had loads of fun and signed for more. Result!
Today that effort involved marching around outside singing 'Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes' at the top of my voice whilst smacking the relevant body parts with a tambourine like some crazed Salvation Army reject. But it worked - little boy was engaged, joined in, learned the names of body parts, had loads of fun and signed for more. Result!
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Food Sensitivities
I don't profess to know the technical reasons behind them, but I do know that upset stomachs are a part of having Down's Syndrome. My daughter has always had problems either with being constipated for days on end or the complete opposite.
It took her years at a special unit when she was a teenager to find out what lay behind the abnormal workings of her digestive system. I noticed that when she was eating what the school prepared for her, she had the worst effects. During school holidays when I was cooking everything from scratch and avoiding processed food as much as possible, it all calmed down markedly.
The teacher of the unit would not let me supply my daughter with packed lunches (I had a lot of issues with this lady, it was not a happy time for my daughter or myself) yet seemed to think feeding the teenagers in her care baked beans and the like for four days a weeks was OK. I could go on about this, but that's not the point of this post!
During school holidays I tried excluding various foodstuffs from my daughter's diet as well as reading up on the effects of certain ingredients. I managed to narrow the causes down to a) chocolate - or anything with too much processed sugar in, and b) aspartame, which is a sweetener often found in sugar-free yoghurts, drinks etc. The effects of the aspartame are quite spectacular - within an hour of eating one of these yoghurts, my daughter would have to make the mad dash to the loo. This was not much fun for either of us.....
Since leaving this unit (hooray!) and having her meals managed properly, my daughter rarely has these upsets, which is a great relief. Meals are generally home-cooked from fresh ingredients and packed lunches made from 'safe' food. We both know when a certain food has the possibility to cause trouble and she is very sensible in avoiding them, although occasionally (birthday cake, special meals out, etc.) sometimes it's worth the consequences - my daughter is able to accept the risk.
So if your child is having unexplained stomach upsets, check first they are not eating something that may be triggering the problem. Try a few days of an exclusion diet and see if this alleviates it. Obviously, if the problem persists then you should check with your doctor that there is not some other underlying condition, but it is worth making a few changes in your food preparation if it means a life free of 'runny poo'!
It took her years at a special unit when she was a teenager to find out what lay behind the abnormal workings of her digestive system. I noticed that when she was eating what the school prepared for her, she had the worst effects. During school holidays when I was cooking everything from scratch and avoiding processed food as much as possible, it all calmed down markedly.
The teacher of the unit would not let me supply my daughter with packed lunches (I had a lot of issues with this lady, it was not a happy time for my daughter or myself) yet seemed to think feeding the teenagers in her care baked beans and the like for four days a weeks was OK. I could go on about this, but that's not the point of this post!
During school holidays I tried excluding various foodstuffs from my daughter's diet as well as reading up on the effects of certain ingredients. I managed to narrow the causes down to a) chocolate - or anything with too much processed sugar in, and b) aspartame, which is a sweetener often found in sugar-free yoghurts, drinks etc. The effects of the aspartame are quite spectacular - within an hour of eating one of these yoghurts, my daughter would have to make the mad dash to the loo. This was not much fun for either of us.....
Since leaving this unit (hooray!) and having her meals managed properly, my daughter rarely has these upsets, which is a great relief. Meals are generally home-cooked from fresh ingredients and packed lunches made from 'safe' food. We both know when a certain food has the possibility to cause trouble and she is very sensible in avoiding them, although occasionally (birthday cake, special meals out, etc.) sometimes it's worth the consequences - my daughter is able to accept the risk.
So if your child is having unexplained stomach upsets, check first they are not eating something that may be triggering the problem. Try a few days of an exclusion diet and see if this alleviates it. Obviously, if the problem persists then you should check with your doctor that there is not some other underlying condition, but it is worth making a few changes in your food preparation if it means a life free of 'runny poo'!
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Forgive Yourself!
This week schools were back in session, as were colleges...so I thought! I did something terrible on Tuesday - over the last couple of weeks I was very conscientious and contacted my daughter's social worker to inform her that we'd need the taxi service back to normal this week; I even contacted the taxi company and made sure they knew about the times and pick up/drop off points. We got up in time, my daughter got herself ready and was all keyed up to get back to work and went off happily in her taxi.
Half an hour later, I got a phone call at work from the college to say that whilst my daughter had arrived safely, her course didn't actually start until a fortnight's time. Whoops! They said the dates were in a letter, which they probably were, but I must have missed that one and just assumed that their term started the same as ours - which I think it does for full-time courses.
So I had to ring the taxi firm who were kind enough to send someone straight away to bring her back - lovely people, thank you! She was fine, completely unphased as ever, while I was mortified.
However, I have learned over the years that to err is human and there is no point in beating yourself up over it. You have to accept the fact that you have a great amount of things to deal with and if something slips through the net, it is just one of those things. As long as it all ended happily, the best thing is to put it down to experience and then move on. In the past I would have been mentally kicking myself for days, but that is just wasted energy which could be utilised far better elsewhere.
On the plus side, now I have made my apologies and (hopefully) sorted out the correct dates, we had a lovely day at home together yesterday and the promise of the same again next week, thereby ekeing out the summer holidays just a little bit longer!
Half an hour later, I got a phone call at work from the college to say that whilst my daughter had arrived safely, her course didn't actually start until a fortnight's time. Whoops! They said the dates were in a letter, which they probably were, but I must have missed that one and just assumed that their term started the same as ours - which I think it does for full-time courses.
So I had to ring the taxi firm who were kind enough to send someone straight away to bring her back - lovely people, thank you! She was fine, completely unphased as ever, while I was mortified.
However, I have learned over the years that to err is human and there is no point in beating yourself up over it. You have to accept the fact that you have a great amount of things to deal with and if something slips through the net, it is just one of those things. As long as it all ended happily, the best thing is to put it down to experience and then move on. In the past I would have been mentally kicking myself for days, but that is just wasted energy which could be utilised far better elsewhere.
On the plus side, now I have made my apologies and (hopefully) sorted out the correct dates, we had a lovely day at home together yesterday and the promise of the same again next week, thereby ekeing out the summer holidays just a little bit longer!
Sunday, 5 September 2010
Back to School...
Not just for the children but for me as well tomorrow - up bright and early and back into the old routine with a new little boy.
Getting back into the swing of things will be hard enough for me, an adult (reputedly!), but even tougher for children with Down's who have been enjoying the home routine for six glorious weeks. I think what my daughter found hardest of all was the getting ready first thing in the morning. It was particularly hard when she was old enough to go to junior school and along came the complications of school shirts and ties to get to grips with. Fine motor skills are a problem at the best of times without these added fiddly tasks.
My advice here is to have a little word with the school and see if it is OK for your child to wear polo shirts rather than fully buttoned cotton shirts, thus reducing the buttons to one or two. Also, if a tie is necessary, either show your child how to take the tie still tied over the head at the end of the day, ready to be put on and tightened the next morning, or try and buy/make one on elastic. It is just not fair to expect your child to be able to manage school uniform suddenly and to be dressed independently on time. With tuition and repetition, your child may well eventually be able to button a shirt and tie a tie, but it is not going to happen overnight and expecting them to do it can cause frustration and misery all round. Bear in mind that it is not only the getting dressed in the morning but the changing for PE, so if you can make the process as easy as possible, the better for your child. By the same token, try and get trousers or skirts that are easily fastened, no complicated belts or buckles.
In general, I have found that trying to chivvy any child with Down's into hurrying to get ready just doesn't work. All you succeed in doing is getting the child flustered and they will either get confused or, more likely, go even slower. Even now, with my daughter at 22 years old, I do try and give her plenty of warning if we have an early start to the day and also get her out of bed in plenty of time. This way she can get herself ready at her own pace, which is far less stressful. Once it is a learned routine, then all you have to do is be the one to get them up and out of bed.
Talking of which, I know that younger children with Down's often have restless nights with bouts of walking about the house in the dead of night. I used to have to leave folded duvets in strategic places so that my daughter would have somewhere to lay down and sleep again if she was on her travels and I didn't wake. She grew out of this by about 8 years old (thank goodness!). I have come across a couple of cases where the parents of children who have these disturbed nights then leave the child to sleep in in the morning. All well and good during the school holidays, but you are doing your child no favours during term time. For a start, you are not establishing a structured sleep pattern - I know from personal experience that if I sleep late in the morning, I am not ready to go to bed early that night by any means. Far better to wake the child at the correct time for school and then put them to bed at the regular time - hopefully they will be tired enough to then sleep through the night.
Also, by bringing your child in to school late (or not at all!) they are missing an integral part of the school day. The first twenty minutes or so are spent getting belongings put on pegs and in drawers, finding out what the coming day holds and taking part in morning tasks before the register. If your child is whizzed in half an hour late, with mum in a panic and putting the coat on the peg and the lunchbox away for the child whilst pushing them in to an activity that is already half way through, how are you teaching your child to cope with school? They will be confused as to what on earth is going on, they will be flustered, you have done jobs for them that they should be doing independently, and you will also be disrupting the learning of some 29 other children who did manage to arrive on time. Do I sound harsh? It's just that I have seen it from the side of the LSA who then has to try and salvage something from the wreckage after mum has left!
It does mean a bit of thought and extra work to begin with, but if the foundations are laid early, then there is no reason why your child should not be dressed and ready to go to school along with everyone else, relaxed and happy. Good luck for tomorrow!
Getting back into the swing of things will be hard enough for me, an adult (reputedly!), but even tougher for children with Down's who have been enjoying the home routine for six glorious weeks. I think what my daughter found hardest of all was the getting ready first thing in the morning. It was particularly hard when she was old enough to go to junior school and along came the complications of school shirts and ties to get to grips with. Fine motor skills are a problem at the best of times without these added fiddly tasks.
My advice here is to have a little word with the school and see if it is OK for your child to wear polo shirts rather than fully buttoned cotton shirts, thus reducing the buttons to one or two. Also, if a tie is necessary, either show your child how to take the tie still tied over the head at the end of the day, ready to be put on and tightened the next morning, or try and buy/make one on elastic. It is just not fair to expect your child to be able to manage school uniform suddenly and to be dressed independently on time. With tuition and repetition, your child may well eventually be able to button a shirt and tie a tie, but it is not going to happen overnight and expecting them to do it can cause frustration and misery all round. Bear in mind that it is not only the getting dressed in the morning but the changing for PE, so if you can make the process as easy as possible, the better for your child. By the same token, try and get trousers or skirts that are easily fastened, no complicated belts or buckles.
In general, I have found that trying to chivvy any child with Down's into hurrying to get ready just doesn't work. All you succeed in doing is getting the child flustered and they will either get confused or, more likely, go even slower. Even now, with my daughter at 22 years old, I do try and give her plenty of warning if we have an early start to the day and also get her out of bed in plenty of time. This way she can get herself ready at her own pace, which is far less stressful. Once it is a learned routine, then all you have to do is be the one to get them up and out of bed.
Talking of which, I know that younger children with Down's often have restless nights with bouts of walking about the house in the dead of night. I used to have to leave folded duvets in strategic places so that my daughter would have somewhere to lay down and sleep again if she was on her travels and I didn't wake. She grew out of this by about 8 years old (thank goodness!). I have come across a couple of cases where the parents of children who have these disturbed nights then leave the child to sleep in in the morning. All well and good during the school holidays, but you are doing your child no favours during term time. For a start, you are not establishing a structured sleep pattern - I know from personal experience that if I sleep late in the morning, I am not ready to go to bed early that night by any means. Far better to wake the child at the correct time for school and then put them to bed at the regular time - hopefully they will be tired enough to then sleep through the night.
Also, by bringing your child in to school late (or not at all!) they are missing an integral part of the school day. The first twenty minutes or so are spent getting belongings put on pegs and in drawers, finding out what the coming day holds and taking part in morning tasks before the register. If your child is whizzed in half an hour late, with mum in a panic and putting the coat on the peg and the lunchbox away for the child whilst pushing them in to an activity that is already half way through, how are you teaching your child to cope with school? They will be confused as to what on earth is going on, they will be flustered, you have done jobs for them that they should be doing independently, and you will also be disrupting the learning of some 29 other children who did manage to arrive on time. Do I sound harsh? It's just that I have seen it from the side of the LSA who then has to try and salvage something from the wreckage after mum has left!
It does mean a bit of thought and extra work to begin with, but if the foundations are laid early, then there is no reason why your child should not be dressed and ready to go to school along with everyone else, relaxed and happy. Good luck for tomorrow!
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